Indoor Gardener Essay Competition
Yet another rollercoaster year in my life 2010 was life defining. My father pointed out a essay competition in a magazine. I typed up an extremely sappy piece and sent it off. Not expecting to get a response, I had all but forgotten about it when I was notified I had won! I was so excited to have a paid column for a year I quickly got over having my sappy letter printed for the world.
However, 2010 was filled with many other defining moments. Some extremely sad. Since I required surgery I asked for a hysterectomy. Jokingly at first, I mentioned to the nurse “if they have to take it out might as well leave it out, I’m not using it.” She cutely replied “anything else?” It started out a joke.
Luckily, the joke became my reality very quickly. The doctors agreed with my observation. Clearly, it would be easier to leave out this useless organ. It was a bloody monthly reminder of my body’s weakened state and inability to bear children.
I had wanted children for as long as I could remember. Though, even as a child I knew somewhere deep inside I would never be a mother no matter how much I dreamed. There are many who have suggested adoption but that’s not something I’d consider seeking out.
It was at same time I was having a hysterectomy that my sister decided to divorce her husband and cut off all connections with me and our family. I felt so wronged by this decision to excommunicate herself from the family at a point when I needed support.
Realistically, she was thousands of miles away and couldn’t be supportive. However, the divide created in 2010 has yet to be healed and I’ve come to accept that we will never see eye to eye. Our relationship is toxic and we’re both better off not associating with each other.
It’s sad to say that I’m better off without my sister but the unfortunate fact I’ve come to accept is family members are only other humans with whom you share DNA. Humans can form bonds with non-DNA related humans just as easily, if not easier, than with the family members they share a home.
One thing I’ve learned about human behavior, when you share a home frustrations and annoyances become visible and can easily create divides. Those humans who are willing to forgive, forget, and move on tend to far better in tight-knit group living arrangements.