Falling Apart in Grief

The hardest part to deal with is the grief over the loss of what might have been, the future of which I dreamed. Having hope taken from you at the point in life when you are supposed to be overflowing with hopes and dreams is soul crushing. The emotional pain and the physical pain often compete.

The change in lifestyle becomes dramatic. As you progress through the first few years of any serious illness not only do you find out just how truly alone you are; no matter how much support and care available you can’t help but feel alone while surrounded by people.

The nurses are only there to do a job and collect a pay check. The doctors act as if you couldn’t possibly have a brain or a thought and they are disgruntled when you start asking about options or simply ask too many questions.

Those who truly love you and stay by you are the only reason you keep from killing yourself some days. You, our loved ones, give us the strength to keep going. Many times I would have ended my own life had it not been for both the sane part of my brain saying ‘this too shall pass’ and the thought of my mother and family devastated because of it.

Yes, many patients with devastating illnesses have these thoughts; most do not act on them. However, it is a reality of chronic, deadly, and serious illnesses. Sometimes the pain both emotionally and physically become too much and we need to seek help.

No one should ever be ashamed for seeking out the help of doctors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. Having a serious illness can be depressing, it can be overwhelming. Patients need to know that while yes this depression is a normal part of serious illness it doesn’t mean you have to grin and bear it.

Seeking out help is not shameful, it is part of the process, like going to the dentist before chemo or not eating before a procedure. The help of professionals comes in many forms. Do not let what others think is “normal” guide you in your navigation of your treatment.

Patients need to know they have options. There are lots of forms of treatments. Holistic and natural treatments have come to the forefront recently. As we enter a new century we are growing at an amazing rate. The technology and medical advances in the first fifteen years of this century amount to the sum total of the last centuries advancements.

In this modern age, patients have the right and the duty to seek out the treatments and professionals which bring them the most relief. Healing the body is done in many ways; through nutrition, spirituality, and medicine.

Patients who explore good nutrition and practice uplifting healing spiritual practices have better results because they have a positive outlook. How patients come through the grief is key to recovery. Positive outlook and concentrated positive thoughts are proven to increase positive outcomes.