The Shunning

It was clear early on in life that my dad was distant; spending most of his time in the garage. As children we were kept in the house and our limit was the fenced in yard. Our parents were overprotective to say the least. It wasn’t until I was in high school that I realized why I didn’t fit in with the other kids at school. We were poor kids. I can remember being offended when a teacher told me to get a coat out of the Coats for Kids box because I didn’t were one to school.

Marijuana is expensive and that fact is why I believe my siblings and the extended family shunned my father. As a child knowing that everyone thinks of you in a certain way can be disturbing. I was a naive and sensitive child. I could see that my mother’s family didn’t acknowledge my father; other than a polite hello. My father’s family put on a fake face as well. Both families did until us children were grown and our grandparents passed.

At school I never felt like I fit in because my parent were struggling; our private school was paid for by a wealthy family member though I credit my parents because they ensured we didn’t fall into the public school system. Had I been a public school student I would have never passed 9th grade. I suffer from Crohn’s disease, though we didn’t know it.

With few people to trust, the only babysitter we had was my Grandmother. She was an amazing woman and sadly died in a horrific car accident a little over a month after I was married. My mother was one of nine children. Growing up the family was very close and Grandma kept everyone connected through Sunday’s at Church and family events which my dad never attended.

I can recall only one basketball game, and one Christmas pageant which he attended. On the other hand, I can also recall the one basketball game my mom showed up late to and how upset and abandon I felt because she was late from work. I laugh now, thinking what ridiculous emotions from a child.

However, it was clear that the majority of our large extended family stood in judgment of my parents for one reason or another. Either they disliked that they adopted my cousin because his own mother has a mental health issue which prevented her from being a proper mother. Other’s it felt as if they shunned us, my dad, because of the marijuana. And other’s who judged the lifestyle of an entrepreneur.

Luckily, my father was raised in a family of plumbers. When the recession hit and he lost his job he went back to plumbing. He drove us to school, work, and he worked around our schedules. Most people I think believed he didn’t do anything because he didn’t have an office. However, when times are hard entrepreneurs rise seen and unseen. He was our provider.